


One Step Back

by ArgentSleeper



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Multi, School Reunion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-04-24 00:45:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4899025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArgentSleeper/pseuds/ArgentSleeper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Merlin's ten year reunion, but ten years hasn't been long enough for the pain to fade.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Step Back

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta'd. At all. So I sincerely apologize for the American/British/German/gibberish conglomeration that this ended up with. The first half of this was written over a year ago, so please let me know if you find any inconsistencies.
> 
> For tropes bingo: "reunion romance," "fake relationship," and "friends to lovers"

 

Merlin glared resentfully at the letter on his worktable. He’d been having such a great day. His bus was on time and nearly empty for the first time ever. One of the girls had started a pot of coffee so it would actually be ready when he got there. Then his favourite customer had given him double her usual tip for his work, enough so he felt safe enough taking a longer lunch, which had led to him stopping home to pick up his mail.

Which had led to his current mood now.

“Did you get a jury summons? I had to do it a few years ago. It’s not so bad, really. Worst part is losing out a day or two’s pay, but I’m sure you can convince Elena to give you some paid leave.” Gwen bounced up behind him and snatched up the letter before Merlin could stop her. “Oh, a reunion! I love reunions. I went to mine last month. It was so great seeing everyone again. Lance and I had such a good time.”

“I’m happy for you,” Merlin grumbled, grabbing the invitation back again.

Gwen clapped her emptied hands together happily. “Can I go shopping for your suit? Are you going to wear a suit? Not that you have to wear a suit. I suppose a pair of slacks and a nice shirt would be okay, too.”

“I’m not going.” He turned to walk away, retreating to the supply station he shared with the other nail technicians. He pulled open a random drawer, picking through the selection of decals and tossing the used sheets into the bin. “How many times have I told you girls to throw these things out when they’re empty?”

Gwen sat down beside him, shutting the drawer and nearly smashing his fingers. She ignored his reproachful yelp. “Merlin. Why don’t you want to go to your reunion?”

“It’s a waste of time. Taking a whole weekend to drive home to talk to a bunch of people I sort of knew a decade ago? If I really wanted to know how they were I’d ask them on Facebook.”

“You don’t have Facebook.”

“Exactly. So clearly reconnecting with my past is not a priority for me. And no one cares what’s going on in my life. I mean, look at me. I’m not exactly Mister Fame and Fortune.”

“Don’t be silly,” Gwen scoffed, waving a hand in dismissal. “You love your job.”

He did, actually. It certainly wasn’t where Merlin had expected to end up when he decided to go for his art degree, but painting people’s nails for a living wasn’t so bad. The challenge of how detailed he could get his tiny creations was always exciting. It had taken years of practice, but he was now well-known as one of the best in the business. Elena, the owner of the salon, had offered him a partnership in the place as an incentive never to leave, but Merlin had turned her down, content with where he was.

“Still–”

“Come on,” she pressed. “Isn’t there one person from your old classes you’d like to see again?”

“It’s easier to think of who I’d rather _not_ see again,” Merlin muttered, avoiding her gaze.

“Ah,” Gwen nodded, smiling sagely. “So that’s the problem. What’s his name?”

Merlin slumped in defeat. It was useless. He knew Gwen well enough by now to know she wasn’t going to give up on this. “Arthur.”

“Ex-boyfriend?”

“Best friend, actually.” Merlin drooped further as he slipped into the memories. Memories he had done his absolute hardest to bury away forever.

Gwen made tiny sympathetic noises in her throat and took his hand. “What happened?”

“We just drifted apart.” Merlin hated to lie when she looked so concerned, but he wasn’t ready to tell the whole story just yet. And it _was_ true, in part. “I told you, it’s not a big deal.”

“Wouldn’t this be a great opportunity to reconnect then? I bet he’s going. You could always call the committee and find out.”

“Gwen…” Merlin sighed. “I said I’d rather not see him. Can’t you just let this be?”

Gwen’s expression hardened, and she squeezed his hand harder. “He bullied you for being gay, didn’t he? I swear, Merlin, you may not want to see him, but if I ever do I’ll give him the what for.”

“Please don’t,” Merlin protested softly. “He didn’t… I didn’t…” He hung his head. “He doesn’t know.”

“You never told him?”

“I didn’t even tell my mum until after a year at uni when I brought my boyfriend home for my birthday.”

“But you’re so much more comfortable now with who you are than when you were in uni. It used to be I had to bring out the puppy eyes to even get you to admit to having a date. Now I can hardly get you to shut up about them. Do you think he guessed?”

“No? Maybe? I don’t know. I did my best to not let anyone guess. But it was probably obvious I was keeping something from him. Arthur always hated secrets.” _At least ones that didn’t benefit him._

“And you think admitting to it now means he’ll hate you for not trusting him enough to tell him? Because if that’s the case, he didn’t deserve you as a friend in the first place.”

“It’s the past,” Merlin whined, knowing he was getting repetitive and that was greatly weakening his argument and his resolve to continue it. “Arthur probably doesn’t even remember me. And if he does he doesn’t need to know I became the gay nail guy.”

“Merlin, do you really care about what this guy thinks?” He nodded miserably. “Then you know what you need to do, right?”

“Not go?”

“Yes go! Show him how successful you’ve become!”

“But I’m not-”

“Don’t give me that.” Gwen waved a hand at his feeble protest. “We all know you could own half this place if you wanted. You could open up your _own_ place if you wanted. Just because you hate business doesn’t mean you aren’t a damn good artist. Go, Merlin. Don’t let him treat you any less than the gem you are. I’ll come with you,” she offered, cutting off his protest that he couldn’t go alone. “If you’re still going to moan, I’ll even go as your date. That way if you really want to, you can continue to hide that part of your life. But if this Arthur is even half the man to make you still feel so awful about lying to him ten years ago, then I don’t think he’d be one to hold the truth against you.”

Merlin knew when he was defeated. “Fine. I’ll go. But I’m only talking to him on my terms, okay? No butting in.”

“Agreed.” Gwen beamed, but the gleam in her eye warned him she probably would anyway. “Oh, I just know that you’re going to feel so much better after you two talk.”

Merlin didn’t have the heart to tell her that wasn’t true at all. After all, Arthur had laid down the line on that front a long time ago.

 

* * *

 

“Gwen! Take that off!”

Merlin gaped at his friend’s hand, cheeks flaring hot. Gwen barely had a chance to wear her engagement ring –Lance insisted she protect it from the chemicals at the salon –but he had thought she would at least refrain from taking today as an opportunity to show it off.

“Relax, Merlin. We want this to look convincing, don’t we? It’s much better if it looks like you’re serious about me, not just like I’m some floozy you picked up so you didn’t look like a loser who couldn’t get a date.”

Merlin groaned into his hands. “You put far too much thought into this. Lance is going to kill me.”

“Actually, it was his idea. Don’t worry. He has no fear you’re going to steal his woman.”

“I take it back. I’m going to kill Lance.”

“Hush now and tell me which one is Arthur.”

Merlin hadn’t actually looked. He was avoiding looking. “He’ll be the blond prat everyone’s sucking up to.”

He had always hated that. Not that Arthur was well-liked, because he could certainly understand why anyone would like Arthur, but that Arthur allowed them all to hang about him like mere proximity to him powered their minds. Or perhaps took all power from their minds, since none of them had ever had two intelligent thoughts to rub together. Even that wouldn’t have been so bad if only they had been a bit friendlier.

“Blond and covered in midges. Got it.” Gwen took his hand and tugged him along, ignoring his feeble protests. He only hoped she would keep her word about not interfering if they did find Arthur.

“There’s a blond. Is it that one?”

Merlin cringed as she blatantly pointed, relaxing only slightly when he saw it was only Leon, one of Arthur’s other close friends and one of the few he had gotten along with. “No. And he wasn’t a friend of mine, either, so don’t go getting any ideas.”

Before Gwen could pull him through the crowd again, Leon met his eyes across the room. He furrowed his brow at the sight of him, and Merlin could see he was about to step forward to greet him. Quickly he ducked behind Gwen, nudging her in another direction. Of everyone, Leon was the only one Arthur _might_ have told what had happened. Merlin couldn’t take that chance.

“Merlin!”

Merlin flinched and tried to hide again, but this time he wasn’t sure where the assault was coming from. A weight tackled him from behind, nearly sending him to the ground. He was spun around and pounded on the back a few times before he was able to recover enough to identify his assailant.

“Hello, Gwaine.”

“Merlin, mate! How have you been?” The shaggy haired man beamed at him, and Merlin tried to relax his tense muscles. Gwaine _definitely_ didn’t know.

“Good. I’ve been, you know… good.”

Gwaine didn’t seem fazed by his lame response. “That’s great! And who’s this fine woman whose arm you’re on?”

Gwen smiled and stretched out a hand. “I’m Gwen. Merlin’s fiancée.”

“Fiancée?” If possible, Gwaine’s grin grew wider. “Way to go, Merlin! I always knew you’d be the one to woo the finest lady of us all. ‘Fraid I’m here all on my own. This handsome face doesn’t pull like it used to.”

“Oh, I’m sure that’s not true,” Gwen giggled.

Merlin was definitely telling Lance on her.

“Have you seen everybody else yet? What am I saying? Of course you haven’t, or you wouldn’t be skulking here in the corner.” Gwaine slung an arm around his shoulder and tugged, dragging Merlin across the floor.

Merlin tried to protest, citing pathetic excuses about visiting the buffet table, but Gwaine ignored him. He could only be grateful that Gwen stayed attached to his hand. Merlin stiffened as he caught sight of the people Gwaine was bringing him towards.

"Hey, everybody, look what I found!"

Merlin forced a smile on his face as the group greeted him.  He was sure they were doing the same.  Merlin remembered them all.  Leon and Percival and Valiant and Cenred.  This group of five, including Gwaine, had been Arthur's main cohort of cronies.  He wasn't sure why Gwaine would ever think they would want to see him again.

"Merlin!" Perhaps Leon didn't know.  If he did he wouldn't be smiling so brightly.  "We were just talking about chem class in six form.  Remember that time Vivian caught the table on fire with that faulty burner?"

Merlin couldn't help a snort.  That _had_ been hilarious.  "I was afraid Gwaine was going to have to chop his hair off when it started smoldering."

"Now, now, that wasn't the fire; that was just my good looks!"  Gwaine refuted in mock scandalization.  "I'm surprised I didn't cause sparks more often."

The group at large groaned and rolled their eyes, but Merlin spotted Percival giving Gwaine an appreciative once over.  Well that was a development.  Gwaine may have come alone, but it seemed that may change by the end of the night.  Last Merlin knew Gwaine wasn't interested in men, but then last they knew, neither was he.

"So, Merlin, what have you been doing with your life?  Still living in -what was the name of that place?- Elmont?"  There probably wasn't as much sneering in Valiant's comment as Merlin heard, but he cringed slightly none the less.  Old habits died hard.

"I'm an artist."  He and Gwen had agreed to leave it at that.  Merlin loved his job, but he wasn't fool enough to think these men would be impressed by it.  "And no, I moved from _Ealdor_ here to Camelot."

"And he got engaged!  Merlin, shame on you for not introducing your lovely lady!  Mates, this is Gwen, Merls's fiancée."

Leon slapped him on the back in hearth congratulations while Percival just raised an eyebrow and shook his hand.  Cenred and Valiant echoed the sentiment, but thankfully didn't try to touch him.  Instead they just leered at Gwen.  Merlin instinctively pulled her a little closer.

"A fiancée, eh?  Who would have guessed?"

Merlin froze.  Gwen felt the change in his demeanor and squeezed his hand a little tighter.  He didn't turn around, but it wasn't necessary.  Arthur soon stepped into his sightline.

He hadn't changed a bit.  He still had golden blond hair to match his golden skin.  His eyes were still a piercing blue and his body still built with taut lean muscle.

And Merlin couldn't help but still adore him while Arthur still looked at him with all the interest of a bit of gum on his shoe.

Gwen, bless her, recovered first, holding out a hand to shake.  "Hello, you must be Arthur.  I've heard so much about you."

"All of it terrible, I'm sure."  Despite his words Arthur still gave his signature trophy smile.  "Merlin always did love ranting about what a prat I am."

Merlin had told himself he wasn't going to ride to the bait, that he would not engage, but he couldn't help it.  "Yeah, well, you made it so easy."

It was only because Merlin knew him so well that he noticed Arthur's smile fix in place.  Before he could respond Gwen stepped in. "Oh no, I promise, nothing but good things.  He's been talking for days about excited he was to see you all tonight."

Merlin took back every nice thought he'd ever had about Gwen.  If she wouldn't have made him pay for it later he would have stomped on her foot.  It was clear the men surrounding them were just as stumped by that claim.  And of course they were.  Merlin had been Arthur's friend, barely tolerated by the rest of them, and then not even by Arthur in the end.

Maybe that was why he opened his big mouth again.  "Who are you here with tonight, Arthur?  I haven't seen Sophia around yet."

Now it was clear to everyone when Arthur's eyes narrowed.  "I'm here by myself tonight, actually," he replied through gritted teeth.

Merlin knew he could go in for the kill, and nearly did, but Gwen got there first.  "Merlin, could you show me where the bathroom is?  I think I had a bit too much wine before we left."

They hadn't actually had any wine at all, but Merlin took the cue.  "Yeah, of course."

"We'll see you all later, I'm sure," Gwen smiled sweetly, then dragged Merlin towards the hallway.  "You are going to explain what's going on right now, mister."

Merlin winced.  He knew he hadn't been very smart just then, but the hurt inside him had needed to lash out, and he hadn't been able to hold back anymore.

Gwen pulled him into an empty classroom.  "What exactly happened between you and Arthur?"

Merlin sagged into a chair and slumped his head on a desk. He'd thought he was done with this part of his life.  He'd wanted to be done.  "It's a long story."

"Well this is turning out to be a very long night, so start talking."

"We were best friends," he sighed, seeing no way out of it.  "Ever since we were little.  Valiant stole my crayons and snapped them in half, and Arthur beat him up for it.  Maybe that was where the whole problem started.  He was always protecting me and I was nothing but a burden.  He never seemed to mind though.  I thought he didn't mind.  But then Sophia showed up."

"Yes, you mentioned her earlier." Gwen took a seat next to him.  "I take it she and Arthur dated?"

"She was Arthur's first girlfriend.  She was also a complete and total bitch and hated me above everything.

"It was fine at first.  Arthur and I still hung out after school when he doesn't have practice and I was okay with letting her have the weekend.  I was fine with sharing.  But I guess she wasn't.". Merlin swallowed thickly along the lump in his throat.  "She took more and more of his time until finally she told him he had to choose.  And he chose her."

"Oh Merlin." He couldn’t bare to see the pity in her eyes. This is why he didn’t want to tell her. He didn’t want pity. He just wanted the past to never have happened.

"He promised it wouldn't change anything.  He promised I would always be his best friend no matter what.  But then all she had to do was snap her fingers and suddenly I was ‘an annoying puppy that wouldn’t stop following him around.’ Thirteen years of friendship gone, just like that.”

Gwen made a sympathetic noise and patted his arm. “But all those people out there. They didn’t look like there should be some kind of rift between you.”

“They don’t know,” he sighed heavily. “Arthur would always make excuses for why I wasn’t around as much, and they didn’t really care about me being there anyway. When we did have to be near each other, well, you saw what happened. We got good at pretending we still liked each other.”

Gwen raised an eyebrow. “I wouldn’t call that your finest acting just now. Arthur looked ready to box your ears.”

He winced. “Yeah, well, I _was_ kinda asking for it. He and Sophia got divorced about five years ago. She left him for some B-list movie star. It was in the paper.”

“And it didn’t help that you were in love with him too.”

“Of course I was.” Merlin didn’t even bother to deny it. “It doesn’t matter, though. It never mattered.”

Gwen was silent for a moment, her brow furrowed in thought. Finally it seemed she couldn’t hold back the question any longer. “Do you think he’s sorry?”

“Sorry?” Merlin jerked up out of the chair, taking to pacing the room. “I don’t fucking _care_ if he’s _sorry_. He ditched me, Gwen. He tossed me to the kerb for someone he barely even _knew_. And then he made me pretend that it never happened just to cover his sorry arse! My mother still asks me how her precious Arthur is doing. Heaven forbid someone find out he was less than fucking perfect!”

“Do you want to go home?” she asked softly.

“Yes? No. I don’t know.” He scrubbed at his face with both hands, suddenly exhausted. “I want to stop lying.”

“Okay, we can do that.” Gwen slipped her engagement ring off her finger and tucked it in her purse. “Starting with this. Are you ready to tell them?”

Merlin really wasn’t, but he couldn’t insist on honesty from Arthur if he wasn’t willing to ask it of himself. “You can keep it on if you want. I’ll just tell them you’re spoken for by someone else.”

Gwen smiled proudly and replaced her ring. She continued to dig around in her bag until she drew out something else of about the same size. Stepping in close, she pinned it to his lapel. Merlin blinked to see his old Pride badge from uni. “Well then, my dear just-a-friend. Let’s go come out to your old mates.”

Merlin took her hand again, pressing a grateful kiss to her cheek. “Lance doesn’t deserve you.”

“I know,” she smiled. “I tell him that every day.”

Merlin felt at the same time more relaxed and more tense as they made their way back into the crowd. This was going to be hard, but at lease he could count on Gwen to stay by his side.

The same way he used to count on Arthur.

Cenred and Val had wandered off somewhere, and Leon had joined a girl Merlin half-recognized on the dance floor, but Gwaine and Percival were standing by the buffet table making poorly concealed googly eyes at each other. They hardly seemed to notice Merlin and Gwen’s approach.

“Quit blocking the canapes, boys,” Gwen teased, nudging Gwaine to the side. The two men blinked as if coming out of a spell, then took a visible step back from each other.

Gwaine recovered first. “There you are! We were starting to wonder if you drowned in the loo! You should know better, Merlin. Arthur’s been moping in your absence.”

Merlin snorted. “Yeah, I’m sure. What have you and Perce been talking about?”

Percival blushed. “Just this new club,” he mumbled at the floor. “I’m sure you’ve never heard of it.”

“The Crystal Cave?” Merlin asked bluntly, earning looks of surprise as he named the gay club. “Yeah, I went there with some mates last week.”

He could practically feel their gaze slid down from his face to the pin on chest. Realization dawned on Percival’s face and he visibly relaxed. Gwaine took a bit longer, shifting back and forth between the pin and Gwen’s ring.

“Wait, so you’re bi?”                                                                                                                    

Merlin shook his head, tightening his grip on Gwen’s hand for support. “Gay as rainbows, actually.”

Gwen reached out her free hand. “Hi, I’m Gwen. Merlin and I work together.”

“The ring’s real though, so keep your hands to yourselves.” A sudden boldness made Merlin grin slyly. “Or each other, whichever you prefer.”

Percival flushed even deeper, but Gwaine burst out laughing. “Merlin, mate, I’ve missed you. Well, my lady, if it won’t offend your man too deeply, would you allow me a turn on the dance floor?”

Gwen rolled her eyes as Gwaine topped off his question with a deep bow, but she smiled and extricated her hand from Merlin. “Of course, good sir.”

Merlin and Percival watched as the two joined the throng. Gwaine was actually much more refined in his dancing than his speech, sweeping Gwen up in a perfect salsa. The surrounding crowd had to watch out for some flying limbs, but at least their feet seemed to be safe for now.

“Does Arthur know?”

Merlin nearly jumped at the quiet question. “No, he… You two are the first. Surprise!” he answered weakly.

“You should tell him.” Percival wasn’t looking at him, eyes fixed on Gwaine, but his voice and expression were entirely serious. “He’s different than he was when we were teenagers.”

Merlin was sure that he was. They all were different now; it was impossible not to be. But what he’d said to Gwen earlier remained the same. His hurt had changed, from a sharp betrayal to a dull mistrust, but it was still there.

“He went to check out the old music room if you want to find him.”

The music room. Of course he would go there.

 _You’re the one who wanted some honesty. You won’t get it by avoiding him._ So Merlin mumbled a farewell to Percival and slipped back out into the hall.

They had always met in the music room after school. Arthur would run from last period maths class like the plague and it took Merlin ages to clean and put away his bass clarinet, so it made sense for them. They would sit side by side while Merlin ran a cloth over the keys, taking extra care to get the sticky spot that somehow always appeared when he was stuck sitting next to Gilli. Arthur would laugh and swipe the instrument away, blowing and pressing random keys like he hadn’t begged Merlin to teach him back when they’d been ten. Uther would never allow him to learn something so trivial.

After the incident, of course, Arthur stopped showing up. Merlin would usually see him and Sophia hovering outside the door as he left, but he no longer came inside. It had boiled his blood the first time he’d come out to see them snogging across the hall. Why had Arthur felt the need to mock him like that?

“There he is! Our favourite little mouse.”

Merlin froze. Slowly he turned around. Cenred and Valiant leaned against a row of lockers, leering at him. He had never understood why Arthur hung around the two of them. They were all on the footie team, but that was where their similarities ended.

“Seems he lost his little girlfriend, though,” Cenred mock pouted. “Oh dear, mousey. Did she realize you couldn’t afford to pay her?”

Merlin bristled at the implication that Gwen was some kind of escort. He wanted nothing more than to snap back, maybe even throw a punch to defend her honour, but he had learned long ago that would only end with a black eye on his part and inflated pride on his attackers’. He settled for a growled, “Oh fuck off.”

They ignored him as if he’d done nothing more than squeak like the rodent they named him. “What’s that there?” Valiant smirked. “Well what do you know. Seems we were wrong. He’s not a mouse. He’s a _fairy_.”

“Don’t call me that.” Merlin turned and made to walk away, but Valiant lunged forward and gripped him by the arm. Merlin had never been strong, and he was no match for the other man in terms of muscles, but that didn’t stop him from doing his best to try to squirm away. Valiant just laughed and yanked him around until both arms were pinned behind his back. Cenred advanced with a sly grin.

“You know what they say about fairies. If you catch one, it has to grant you a wish.”

“Let him go.”

There was once a time where Merlin would have swooned to hear that authoritative voice at his defence. Honestly there was a part of him that still did. When Cenred spun around and Merlin caught a glimpse of Arthur standing there with his arms crossed over his chest, face dark with fury, he could not deny his knees went slightly weak. Arthur stalked forward and wrenched Merlin away from Valiant’s grip.

“Unless you want me to call the police for assault, you’ll leave, _now_.”

Cenred and Valiant didn’t need telling twice, fleeing the hall faster than Merlin could remember them ever moving on the football pitch.

When they were gone, Merlin turned on Arthur, resentment quickly overcoming the fear and relief. “What was that for? I was handling it.”

Arthur snorted. “Oh yes, you clearly had them right where you wanted them.”

“I don’t need you to defend me, Arthur,” Merlin snapped. “Besides, we wouldn’t want _Sophia_ to see.”

Merlin expected Arthur to become angry again, had half been hoping for it because anger was easy to deal with, but instead he instantly deflated. Arthur leaned against the lockers and slid down until he was on the floor, knees pulled up to his chest. He patted the space next to him. “We need to talk.”

 _Oh, so we’re allowed to talk now?_ Merlin wanted to say, but he held his tongue and sat crosslegged against the lockers on the other side of the hall. Arthur rolled his eyes, but didn’t attempt to close the space between them.

“I’m sorry, Merlin. I was an idiot to listen to Sophia.”

Merlin wasn’t sure what to say to that. “Yes, you were.”

“I was young and stupid and thought I was in love. She didn’t seem to have a problem with any of my other friends, so I was convinced the wrong had to be with you. Now I know the problem was no one else was willing to speak out against her like you did.   I was naïve and I don’t blame you for hating me.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Arthur blinked. “Just okay? Does that mean you forgive me?”

“No,” Merlin replied simply, because he didn’t. He couldn’t, not yet. “Keep going.”

“What else do you want from me? I’m sorry for what I said to you. I’m sorry I didn’t listen when you told me she was just a gold digger out to ruin my life. I’m sorry I let you think you didn’t mean anything to me.”

“Are you sorry for pretending we were still friends after that?” Merlin fought to keep the bitterness in his voice from rising to a shout. “Are you _sorry_ for flaunting the reason we weren’t in my face every single fucking day?”

Arthur gaped. “I wasn’t- Merlin, I was trying to _protect_ you.”

” _Protect me_?” Merlin sputtered. “By breaking my heart every time I saw you?”

“Better than breaking your nose. Or your ribs. Or your wrist, _again._ ” Arthur glared at him, but Merlin could see the concern in his eyes. “I wasn’t _that_ stupid, Merlin, and you weren’t either. I was trying to prevent exactly the situation you just got out it. If people thought I wasn’t keeping an eye on you, they would have gone after you, just like they did when we were kids. And don’t say I’m being paranoid, or condescending, because I _heard_ people say it. Even Sophia recognized that I was _not_ going to let you get hurt.”

“But I _was_ hurt, Arthur,” he whispered, staring down at his lap. “My best friend suddenly hated me and I didn’t even know what I _did._ ”

Arthur scrambled across the floor to lean against him, wrapping him in a tight hug. For a split second Merlin considered fighting it, but he quickly gave in, allowing Arthur to draw his head into his chest. He breathed in the familiar scent, so unchanged even ten years later. “You didn’t do anything,” Arthur promised. “It was my fault. It was all my fault.”

Merlin tried to protest and take some of the blame –he _had_ been a freeloader, buoying himself on Arthur’s popularity, using Arthur to scare away his bullies– but Arthur would have none of it. Instead they just sat there quietly, soaking in the moment.

“We should get back,” Merlin finally admitted, reluctant to move Arthur’s arm from around him. “Gwen’s probably looking for me.”

Arthur stiffened, then pulled away. Merlin fought not to whimper at the loss. “Right. So Gwen… She seems nice.”

Merlin hated to see his face close off like that. Time was he would have left Arthur to suffer a bit longer in revenge, but not tonight. “She is. That’s why we’re friends. _Just_ friends.”

“What? But–” Arthur smacked him round the head. “You _liar_!”

Merlin shrugged, unable to keep the grin off his face. “You try telling Gwen she can’t do something. And apparently I had her real fiance’s blessing, so it wasn’t so bad. Of course, it’s not like he has any reason to be threatened by me.” He barely had a chance to gesture to the pin on his chest before Arthur had surged forward and captured his mouth in a kiss.

Stunned, Merlin didn’t even have a chance to respond before Arthur pulled back, clearly mortified. “I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have-”

“What the-”

Arthur smiled wryly. “Why do you think Sophia hated you much? Of course then I thought I didn’t have a chance-”

Merlin cut him off by dragging his lips back in for another deep kiss. “You always had a chance,” he breathed. “You have all the chances.”

 

* * *

 

Gwen had to call Lance for a ride home that night. Merlin had lost track of whether she deserved it.

 


End file.
